PSP World

Challenge: Write Cho Aniki Press Release Without Using the Word 'Gay'

It's probably hard to sell a game where the main hero is an oiled-up bodybuilder wearing a thong. Cho Aniki is a quirky Japanese shooter that began life on the Turbo Grafx 16, and features colorful mythological characters, lots of pectorals, and campy music. Despite its obvious homoerotic undertones, publisher Aksys games is determined not to go there. The company merely suggests that it's upcoming romp is manly in a way that most of us can't comprehend. Perhaps that is true in a universe where buttless chaps and full-body waxing are manly, but in our universe we would call it something different.

Here's the official press release from Aksys:

Cho Aniki Zero will be oiled up and ready to thrust its way onto your PSP system this spring! Sold exclusively as a digital download through the PlayStation Store, Cho Aniki Zero gives players the chance to take part in an epic struggle alongside heroes Idaten and Benten as they blast through the muscle-bounded forces of Emperor Balzac II (really Aksys? Like the SNL skit? Are you serious?).

Cho Aniki Zero brings manliness back to the old-school shoot-em-up genre and, warps it to another dimension of sights and sounds. In Cho Aniki Zero, players will be introduced to brand-new characters and newly heightened experiences of rhythmic action, intertwined with the famous BGM of Kouji Hayama. Battle through five man-rageous levels of brotherly love and muscle-on-muscle madness!

The Story So Far...

Since the death of Balzac, the Builder Planet has celebrated a long period of peace.

However, as time goes by, protein becomes scarce, and protein deficiency is soon a serious problem for the Builder Planet. As people struggle for control over what protein is left, Balzac II begins his subtle rise to power...

Learning of his return, Idaten and Benten take up arms and begin their man-tastic voyage...

"Cho Aniki Zero is a real trip," said Frank "Bo" deWindt II, Associate Producer, Aksys Games. "It's wacky, hilarious, and just plain fun. Be it the crazy characters, the challenging gameplay, or even the out-of-this-world enemies, you'll find yourself chugging down protein shakes between levels before you know it!"

Thanks for the offer, Aksys, but we don't want to chug any protein if we can avoid it.